Chinese

God has put China on my heart for at least the last couple of years. I seem to connect well with Chinese people as well. So... I decided to take some faith steps towards this and see where God leads me with it. The first major step I've decided to take is to learn the mandarin language.

Learning Chinese is hard. I discovered that pretty quickly. The words sound so much different to English, that it's hard to remember them. Nevertheless, I am generally enjoying the process, and have made new friends because of it. I am praying and seeking the Lord for how he would use this to Glorify Himself.

I had a good talk with Malcolm Barrow, the pastor of Whitiora Bible Church today. He helped me to see some of the problems that dispensationalism can cause if taken to an extreme so as to not allow past dispensations to carry through to the current one (but instead rejecting all but the current - Paul's teachings). Scripture interpretation can be quite confusing, and it's always a journey. I need to remember to stay focused on the important things: living the parts of the Word that I do know, and not getting caught up so much in who's right. Above all, I need to continue to love God and others whole heartedly.

Fruit

After recovering from my virus about 90%, I had my first action group this year (with only 4 weeks of term to go). Only two guys showed up: Ryan and Damian. I gave them both bibles last week and assumed they were Christians. Well, Ryan is a Christian, and we shared our testimonies of how we became Christians. Then Damian shared and said he wasn't a Christian, but that he basically wanted to. I couldn't believe it! I didn't really know him, but I lead him in prayer for Christ to come into his life and forgive him of his sins (knowing it's his heart that God is really concerned about). Praise the Lord! I explained how Christ would never leave him according to the scriptures, and we did a little bible study on confession. I'll follow him up tomorrow with some more assurance of salvation material. What a wicked decision! I'm so excited for him! What an exciting day!

I'm speaking at crossroads tomorrow, so need to finish writing my talk now. Hopefuly I'll get a prayer newsletter out one of these days... Ciao!

Caught the bug

Ugh, someone please shoot me. I caught the virus that's going around fast which causes vomiting, pain, and feavor. I was up most of the night and slept most of today :-(

The night before Otago

Today I organised some last things for the trip to Otago. Myself and the Ku's plus 3 students are going on a vision trip down there for the next week to experience life on their campus ministry and see if there's any outreach ideas we can bring back to the Waikato.

I took a break from normal work today and did some games programming in the morning. Then I went grocery shopping and listened to a couple of sermons on the gifts of Exhortation and Discerning of spirits. I found 23 hours of preaching on my computer about the gifts of the Spirit and the Holy Spirit in the believer by Pastor Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel. It will be interesting to hear an in-depth pentecostal view on this theology now that I have researched the cessationist view (the miraculous gifts are no longer in use).

Tonight I write a devotional to share with the team one morning down in Otago. The devotional is on 1 Th 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I went to church tonight and Parachute Band were there playing. They were loud. I enjoyed it, but was dissapointed there was very little preaching of the Word. After church we had some fellowship at Lucy's place. Lucy and Katie made us gormet pizza. Thepizzas had random toppings - spaghetti, brocolli and cheese sauce, carrot,... hilarious! There was even a dessert pizza. I really enjoyed it! Fun times!

For some reason I have been distancing myself from people more than normal recently. I just don't seem to have anything to say around them. It's slightly depressing. I don't understand myself sometimes...
I always have this conscious desire in me to do huge things for Christ, and when I'm doing simple things that Christ even commands us to do, I feel like it's not enough. I'm finding it hard to live in the moment I guess - my focus seems to be on the future. I feel like I don't fully belong anywhere really, and I'm pretty misunderstood. Yet at the same time, I know I'm where I'm meant to be by the call of God. I guess feelings can be deceiving sometimes.

A call to preach?

I went for one of my long walks today, as I do quite often. I take my mp3 player and listen to lectures at covenant theological seminary by Dr Bryan Chapell about preaching (homoletics). I've learnt so much interesting things about preparing sermons that I'm inspired, along with reading John Wesley's journal, to start writing sermons. By doing so I will at least be preaching to myself, but at best I may learn a lot while doing it, and even be able to start sharing with friends or practicing. Or maybe do what TD Jakes did and start preaching in forests. It's still doing God's will :) Just not very strategic :p either way, God seems to have ignited this passion within me after 2 years of not really giving it any thought.

I met with Jeremy the evangelist today, a real encourager. It was cool just to talk through stuff and share our passions. I talked through some questions I had about church and issues I'm working through in scripture which need to be wrestled with. Thanks Jeremy!

I was able to use the gift God gave me this afternoon of a logical mind and knowledge about computers to help Tim get started and motivated to work on an assignment that he's already late to get done and is struggling with.

I finished reading the book "Master plan of evangelism" a very good and almost academic book. Extremely rigorous with scriptures. I need to do the study at the back of it to really apply it to my life. I read Colossians today.

Yesterday I prepared a bible study about the prodigal son. It's going to go along with the la busqueta video we got given at the Christchurch CCC conference in May (which is a modern retelling of the story). I'm going to lead the outreach group next Wednesday with both resources. Hopefully God will provide a good mix of non believers, new believers, and mature believers to hear the message and discuss it. We already have 4 non-believers who are keen to come. Some are coming to learn English, some because they are just friends, and some because they are seeking Christ. Pray that they would all find Christ through our plans.

Start of mid-semester break

I'm doing one paper at the moment, human development. Today was spent mostly working on the assignment I have due for that before I go off to Otago. This morning I woke up at 6am to pray when everyone was quiet and there were no distractions, then went back to sleep. I am still believing strongly for revival.

Recently I've been re-evaluating some large aspects of my faith. I've been getting back into God's word and trying to read it objectively. At the moment I'm trying to come to a conclusion as to whether the miraculous gifts are still active today through "miracle working" people like the apostles. It really comes down to the question of revelation: does God reveal new or personal knowledge to certain individuals?

This afternoon I finished the first draft of an article I am writing to go in the University Nexus magazine. The article starts with my testimony and gets into why you need Christ and how to start a relationship with Him. I pray that people will be able to relate to my story and see how real this is.

Ripple effect

Back in late February I was reading the bible when I got mad at how software piracy is normal in the church. I realised I was guilty of it myself, so I got all my pirated cd's and smashed them.

Well, since then, God has used me to create a ripple effect. The waves are still travelling through the pond! Daniel was next after me to delete his music - the very next day after myself. Daniel's flatmate got convicted when he did that. Now my flatmate Aaron repented and smashed his cd's (Hilarious video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BncD5zS0l4U), and Trinity has smashed his copied PS2 games. Aaron lead a talk with all the men who came to our student lead Spring Retreat and everyone was challenged to get rid of the stealing in their lives. Stephen, Neil, and Trinity are deleting their music. Rom 2:21 says "You who preach that one should not steal, do you steal?". Well now, more guys are getting keen to live a life of integrity - away from hipocracy and are taking the disk smashing challenge! Praise the Lord! Will you join us? Will you lead your families or future families with corruption or with godly integrity?

I hear about Mike Guglielmucci building lies in front of people's eyes as a Christian leader and falling when he had to admit he lied about having terminal cancer. It's amazing what a small sin in the dark can escalate to! So once again I am reminded how important accountability is, and how I need to be more intentional and vigorous at confessing my sins to others that I trust.

A typical but praiseworthy Thursday

Tried to wake up early this morning to read colossians, but I stayed in bed instead of getting out.

This morning was spent chasing down the man in charge of booking the New Life Theatre with Daniel. I eventually pinpointed a time and place where he would be from talking to people.

I then went out sharing with Sara. We approached a few people sitting around, and ended up talking to two girls in the sun. We had really good conversations with both of them, and I shared my testimony. It was probably the first time I was able to share about before I came to Christ and after, and genuinely proclaim that the joy of knowing Christ has far surpassed any other experience in my whole life, including my first year of university at college hall, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

After lunch I went out sharing with Tom, but I let Tom do the talking. We found three guys, one of whom we knew already, and Tom shared the gospel with all of them. They were extremely apathetic and didn't seem to care less about spiritual things, even though they all claimed to be Christians. We had little time left, so I encouraged them to get in a bible study group and shared from memory how they need to keep in step with the Spirit to avoid the two dangers of self-centred living and self-effort living as a believer (1 Cor 3:1-3 and Gal 3:3).

I received some athelete studies in the post from Timo today to try and do with a couple of rugby players I've met. Looking forward to getting a couple of action groups going next term. Also looking forward to Spring Retreat that our students are organising for tomorrow night!

Praise God that I got to see Him work in another day, and that he used me!

Relaxing Saturday

Started the morning reading through the book of colossians (which I've endeavoured to do once each day for 50 days) and praying - my daily bread.

Listened to a couple of lectures from www.biblicaltraining.org about preaching. Dr Chapel talked about the difference between written and oral structuring. When speaking we want to emphasis key words by repeating them, whereas in writing we simply state the most important point first. In preaching we build a framework and the propositional statement is supported by that framework, but also covers all of the framework. Very interesting and profitable for my life.

I spent the afternoon with friends - Joel and Tim, and then played a two hour intense game of chess with Susannah. It was a rematch because she won last time, and this time I beat her! Susannah and Tim's friend Irene came and watched the game. She's one of those people who is really familiar but neither of us could pinpoint where we'd met before. May St flat invited me for dinner and we enjoyed some fellowship and stories.

A long but rewarding Friday.

I took a short film on my phone with Kate to start spiritual conversation. I felt the Lord was leading me to management block, but it was pouring with rain and I felt equally at peace with 'cutting it short' to teacher's block.We met with a man named Robert who was about my age (22), but was a single father of two children. Robert was a Christian, and he recognised the video to be a retelling of the prodical's son. Robert was finding it difficult to go to church with children, so Kate and I made a few suggestions. The Lord then crossed our paths again at lunch time when Robert wandered in to the food court to have lunch where many student lifers were enjoying fellowship. I called himover and he ate with us. Robert is keen to join an action group bible study I am trying to set up, and he is going to try his best to come to our student lead spring retreat at the end of next week. Praise God for that.

I also tried to meet with a Korean named Yoong Soo Chung, and I ended up meeting his friend, but he never showed up. Unfortunately I was late because of talking with Robert, so perhaps it was my fault. I saw Edward who I talked with yesterday when sharing with Joel, and this time I was able to show him the gospel, but it was difficult to share with him, and he did not agree with the perspective that all have sinned. He said it implied creation theory, and I told him that was true. The message of Christ is a stumbling block to some. I pray Lord, that you would open Edward's eyes to your truth, and reveal falsity in the "secret knowledge" doctrines he believes.

The rest of my day was filled with meetings, reading the bible, prayer, and staff development time (we're going through the book about spiritual disciplines by John Ortberg entitled 'the life you've always wanted'), which is very beneficial to me. We closed the week with muffin time, a time where as a staff team we can reflect on the good and bad points of this week. I had a good week of constant joy, so I found this difficult because I saw God's hand at work everywhere (which was my high point), but my low point was seeing my flatmate Phil's passion fade away more when he didn't get accepted for a mission trip to east asia that he applied for, and then had little desire to apply for a local beach project for the third year running. I am still surprised to see how much God is at work in people's hearts and how thankful they are to hear the good news.

Sowing, sowing, sowing

I shared the gospel with a Chinese man today at the university of Waikato. He was interested in hearing about it. I was once again delighted to see conviction on a man's face and an understanding in the heart of the good news. He said there was nothing stopping him from becoming a Christian, but when I asked him if he'd like to pray now he said no, and we laughed at that. It wasn't God's timing, but we weren't sure what was keeping him from coming to Christ, so I had to wish him a good day and leave the results to God. Another seed sown, which I pray will land on fertile soil.

Insights into faith

Faith, what is it?

I was reading back into some of Charles H. Spurgeon's teachings "All of Grace" in e-sword, of which there is a very nice rendition here: http://www.spurgeon.org/all_of_g.htm, and I came accross this in Chapter 8 "Faith, what is it?" about half way through:

Faith is not a blind thing; for faith begins with knowledge. It is not a speculative thing; for faith believes facts of which it is sure. It is not an unpractical, dreamy thing; for faith trusts, and stakes its destiny upon the truth of revelation. That is one way of describing what faith is.

The Strength of a Man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his Heart ... that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he's loved.
It's in how he can be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.

© July 15, 1999
Scorpiox2x@aol.com
Jacqueline Marie Griffiths
(Written for H. Rochon)

Grandma's funeral and a light to the world

My grandmother passed away peacefully after having a stroke this week. She was my Mum's mum. The funeral today was sad but releasing. Gran was ready to go. It was good to have the whole family there to shed tears with, and to be able to stick by my mum the whole time. At a time when we naturally think about death and things beyond the physical world, let me share a few conversations that I had today.

We had a party afterwards at my uncle's. I found out there that Gran's deceased husband - the love of her life, was an Anglican freemason (however that could possibly work - apparently you just have to believe in a god to be a freemason), but they fell away from the faith after my step-grandfather lead the whole Auckland community for a time. Very interesting.

It's interesting how people share these "religious" things with me now without me saying or doing much. I was worried before that it would be weird sharing my faith with my family members. But I don't really care anymore because I'm secure in Christ, and He has got me to a place where I can be mostly unjudgemental of non-believers (this has taken a while). I'm happy to be who I am around anyone.

But today, I had my guard down. I had let my tears out at the funeral and had no other believers around to help lift me up in the faith. I was pretty vulnerable, and I wasn't acting. I was myself. Now I usually show up at family gatherings and get comments like "you need to get out in the sun more" or "so you been partying hard in Hamilton?" or worse - no comments or conversation at all. I thought today would be worse still since I hadn't shaven my face in a while - I pretty much have a beard. But now these are some of the comments I got from family members today: not a single negative one...

One of my uncles (Ken) encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing. He instantly saw me as a new person it seemed and couldn't seem to figure it out (I don't think he'd seen me since God entered my life) - he had a big talk to me telling me to keep at my job, but to seek lifestyle instead of money in corporate settings (because of his own personal experience). I think he thought I was still pursuing computers, and couldn't figure out really how that had brought me so much joy. I feel like he saw me as someone worthy of sharing his wisdom with.

Ken surprisingly kept telling me how great I looked, really meaning it. He insisted I had grown up into a fine man. He invited me to stay at his camp site any time at all in Invercargill. And this is like a pristine camp site. Ken is the ultimate perfectionist and hates people my age who leave the place a mess after they leave (he won't even let them stay anymore). I even told him I have 20 minute showers when I'm on holiday and he almost had a heart attack because of how much they pay for power and gas down there. But I think he invited me because of my character, which I like to think of as God living inside of me, because I cannot give myself any credit for it. Ken's main message was to encourage me to do what I'm doing long term, and work and live with a balance as though it is, so as to not burn myself out.

I met one guy about my age who had just bought a house with his girlfriend (hadn't completely thought through marriage yet). I shared with him how God had changed my life - from smashing pirated CD's to not looking at women with lust in my heart either on the internet (pornography) or in person (day-to-day). I told him how I wanted to give up checking women out that so I could honour my future wife because things wouldn't suddenly change when I'm married. I told him about the illusion of lust that's dragged over our eyes by Satan - how no matter how much you feed your mind, you will never be satisfied and you will always want more. It will snowball. The dude was blown away, and asked isn't that hard when you follow the bible, not to give in to temptations? I said yeah, it is, and sometimes I stumble. It's really hard. But it's worth it. I told him it would be impossible without God, which is what I truly believe.

My other uncle (Ken's brother), Chris, the one who shared about my freemason step-grandfather, had a completely separate conversation with me. Chris told me how good I looked! These were his exact words near the end of our long conversation: "Keep doing whatever you're doing. You seem to be really happy doing it. I can actually see it beaming off your face, it's amazing." and he did nothing but encourage me to keep working with students at university, and to keep support raising for that.

What strange things to say! Uncle Chris actually described my face as beaming even though I felt normal (and in fact, tired). It reminds me of something Jesus said. He says in Matthew 5:12-14 "You are the salt of the earth...You are the light of the world." and describes how we must let our light shine before men so that they see our good deeds and praise our Father in heaven.

Christians are like God's hands and feet, so don't be afraid to be who you are around others. If you are not saved, then you need to be. It is my desire that none will perish, and all will come to know Christ and Him crucified. Death is just an illusion. It is crossing over from this world to the next. While this world is temporary, the next is eternal. Everyone knows this deep in their hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). To read more, visit http://www.needgod.com

Pirated Disk Smash

Check it out. I spent all of saturday getting rid of a virus on my computer. What a waste of time. It was my own fault for trying to crack some software illegally. Afterwards I was reading my bible and I started to get mad at software piracy. I realised stealing was still my master. It appears almost normal in the church that we hand around pirated software. God convicted me that it just isn't worth it. It's all going to be burnt in the pit of fire and brimstone on judgement day, and it's not something I can take with me when I leave this world. Matthew 18:18 is Jesus talking to the church, and he says "Whatever you permit on earth with be permitted in heaven, and whatever you allow on earth will be allowed in heaven". Well, I don't know about you, but I don't want some saint ripping my software off for eternity. Well okay, so that's not accurate, but you get what I mean. This is how furious I was at it.

In fact, using illegal software makes me just the same as someone from this world (as opposed to someone set apart as God's own holy child). I took a hammer and smashed up every single illegal CD, movie, software, and document; and I deleted every mp3 file that was illegal and cleaned out my hard drive: uninstalled every piece of software I was using that wasn't legit, and left nothing of the kind standing. And I'm not bad off now. I feel victorious.

Sorry about the bad video, but that wasn't my focus:

Bible Encyclopedia

I've been using this tool more and more. It's available for free as an additional download for e-sword, and I'm sure other bible software too.

The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia. Have you ever been reading the bible, and wondered "what does that word mean??" - well the ISBE is a very comprehensive bible dictionary. It gives some huge historical insights into practically any english word of the bible. It is especially useful for biblical characters and doctrines such as "election" and "adoption" I've found. The encyclopedia contains basically a collection of essays that aren't afraid to go back to the original greek in a way anyone can understand. If you're struggling a little to interpret the bible in context, I would highly recommend the ISBE. Also, if you don't have e-sword, go and get it today at http://www.e-sword.com