Ryan O'Connor's Journal

The curse of gorse

2009-09-24T21:38:00.003+12:00

Gen 3:16 To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."
Gen 3:17 Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.
Gen 3:18 "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field;
Gen 3:19 By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return."

Whenever I visit my dad at his lifestyle section, we take a walk through his back yard. It's a fantastic place in the hills with New Zealand native bush at the bottom. As we walk through the yard, my dad bends down and picks out a thistle in the grass. He shows me how he always has to go around pulling them out. Often he has to spend hundreds of dollars on spray to kill them, and then they just eventually grow back.

Next door, the neighbor owns a bigger section. He is cursed with gorse - a nasty sprawny nettle with razor sharp spikes over it's entirety which bears yellow flowers. What a curse this is. Every farmer knows it. They spend so much time, energy, and money trying to get rid of the stuff. No animal eats it (except a really really hungry goat), and no spray kills it completely. When you hack it down with a tractor, it leaves nasty stumps. Then you go around and paint poison on every stump (there are often hundreds). Next season you realize that gorse seeds spread to the rest of your land - seeds that can't be burned or poisoned. New gorse starts sprouting up everywhere, and it's back to the expensive spray. It's almost impossible to get rid of - it takes constant work season after season, just to get a clear field.

When we work in jobs, there's just stuff we hate doing. No matter what job you work, there is always stuff you just don't wanna do. Isn't it always hard to make ends-meet when you're a student? What do you do when there's a recession and your company goes bankrupt or you get made redundant?

Don't mothers experience great pain in childbirth, have c-sections, and sometimes die? What is a doctor to say when a mother loses her baby? What comfort can anyone offer her? And why amidst this trouble do people still choose to have 42 million abortions each year?

Why is it simply so hard to save money? Why are men often seen as domineering, or why do they shy away instead like little boys?

Why is the most popular villain in fairy tales portrayed as a fierce woman?

If only we had obeyed God. Since the fall of man, this has never been an easy life. And it never will. But praise the Lord he offers us hope all the way through until the end, when he will re-create life with perfect jobs for us and no suffering, toil, tears, or pain. Christ will return for us, and he will set us free from this world and our present selves. This is the hope we have, and this is the hope we stand for.

Is doubting and struggling with God wrong or abnormal?

2009-08-13T20:03:00.001+12:00

Struggling with God is a sure sign that we truly have faith. If we never struggle, our faith will never grow.

http://www.keepbelieving.com/sermon/2007-11-07-If-I-Believe-Why-Do-I-Doubt/

The Great Commission in-depth

2009-07-23T22:30:00.007+12:00

I've been studying the so-called Great Commission. Many believers quote the last couple of verses in the book of Matthew as a consistent reference that we should take the initiative and share our faith. But does this verse in Matthew teach that? And was this really Jesus' last words?

And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)

The full commission
The "Great Commission" is actually paralleled in three of the gospel accounts: Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Here is a juxtaposition of the risen Jesus' "Great Commission" from the three gospels after he took his disciples up a mountain. This is not necessarily a 100% accurate ordering, but it does give us a good picture of what the full commission was by combining all the text. I've provided the verses so that you can look them up separately in your bible.

Mk 16:15 (pt 1). AND HE SAID (TO) THEM,

Mt 28:19 (pt 1), ref Mk 16:15 (pt 2). GO YE

Mt 28:19 (pt 2). THEREFORE,

Mk 16:15 (pt 3). INTO ALL THE WORLD,

Mt 28:19 (pt 3). AND TEACH

Mk 16:15 (pt 4). AND PREACH THE GOSPEL (or Good News)

Lk 24:47 (pt 1). AND THAT REPENTANCE AND (FORGIVENESS) OF SINS (or repentance leading to forgiveness of sins-JNT) SHOULD BE PREACHED IN HIS
NAME AMONG (or to) (people from)

Mt 28:19 (pt 4), ref Lk 24:47 (pt 2). ALL NATIONS,

Mk 16:15 (pt 5). TO EVERY CREATURE (or all creation).

Lk 24:47 (pt 3). BEGINNING AT JERUSALEM.

Mt 28:19 (pt 5). BAPTIZING (or immersing) THEM IN THE NAME (or reality) OF THE FATHER, AND OF THE SON, AND OF THE HOLY GHOST (or Spirit):

Mk 16:16. HE THAT (BELIEVES) (or trusts) AND IS BAPTIZED (or immersed) SHALL BE SAVED (or he who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved-
NASB); BUT HE (WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE) (or does not trust) SHALL BE DAMNED (or condemned).

Mt 28:20 (pt 1). (And) TEACHING THEM TO OBSERVE (or obey) ALL THINGS (EVERYTHING) I HAVE COMMANDED YOU:

Lk 24:48. AND (YOU) ARE WITNESSES OF THESE THINGS.

Mt 28:20 (pt 2). AND, (SURELY) (or remember), I AM (or will be) WITH YOU ALWAYS, (yes), EVEN (TO) THE (very) END OF THE WORLD (or age).

Lk 24:49.
AND BEHOLD, I AM SENDING FORTH THE PROMISE OF MY FATHER UPON YOU; BUT YOU ARE TO STAY IN THE CITY UNTIL YOU ARE CLOTHED WITH POWER FROM ON HIGH.

Then there's also luke's summary of the last 40 days of the risen Christ (Acts 1:1-9):

In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen. After his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of my Father, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."

So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"

He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.

Luke clarified how the apostles were to wait until the Holy Spirit had been given to them, which must be the "Power from on high" he wrote about in Luke 24:49. This was probably emphasised in Luke's second letter because he wanted to show in the rest of this book how the Holy Spirit came upon people both in Jerusalem (Acts 2:4), Judea & Samaria (Acts 8:14-15), and the end of the earth (?). He also knew the importance of having the Holy Spirit, and mentions on numerous occasions how the early church were filled (directed and empowered) with the Spirit. Acts was a period of transition for the work of the Holy Spirit since Pentecost (Acts 2), and we now receive and can't lose Him when we believe the gospel (Eph 1:13,14). We must also be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:17-19).

So why the difference between the gospels?
Each gospel account differs in content, but not in purpose. The purpose is that everyone would hear the good news, and disciples from every nation would be made. The focus of Matthew's account is on making disciples. He wanted to focus on seeing all the teachings that were recorded of Jesus passed on to others in all nations.

The primary verb in Matthew's account is "go". The tense here implies "as you go, make disciples". This is perhaps best illustrated by the example of Jesus' disciples after the stoning of Stephen:

Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went. (Acts 8:4)

While the main verb is "go", the other verbs in the sentence re-enforce that main idea. They enhance and explain the idea. Thus, teaching and baptising people are words that describe how we are to make disciples.

While Matthew focused on multiplication, the Lord uses Mark to focus on what the preachers and listeners are to do. The apostles are to preach the good news to all creation, and the hearers are to believe and be baptised to save their souls. Note that "whoever does not believe will be condemned", not "whoever does not believe and get baptised will be condemned" - this is not works-based salvation. Also, to preach means to proclaim, like a herald bringing good news from his king.

God emphasises the progressive and continuous nature in Luke's account:

"This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things." (Luke 24:46-48)

We cannot just preach grace and forgiveness, but we must also preach that people everywhere must repent. Paul gives us a good example when addressing the Greek philosophers:

"Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead." (Acts 17:30,31)

Was the great commission "Jesus' last words"?
These words were spoken 33.5 years into Jesus' life, and were Jesus' last conversation with his disciples. Luke 24:51 shows us that Jesus blessed his disciples just before he ascended into heaven, so the commission itself was not strictly Jesus' last words, but the commission was the last words before Jesus' ascension that God inspired men to write down.

Is the great commission for us today?
Some have said that the great commission was only for the time of Christ (for example, the Berean Bible Society), and that the disciples themselves did likely fulfill it by making disciples from every nations while they were alive, as shown in acts (remember this commission is to preach the gospel to all nations, not necessarily to every person). While the disciples may have fulfilled it, or while it may very well be fulfilled today in terms of reaching the nations, we are still commanded to make disciples today:

"Make disciples of all nations" is the first command. Then we are told to "teach them to observe all that I (Jesus) have commanded you (the disciples)". Well, one thing Jesus just commanded them was to make disciples of all nations. Thus, the apostles would have made disciples by the power of the Holy Spirit, and taught those disciples to make disciples. Those disciples were then asked to teach everything to others who would teach others also (2 Tim 2:2). And so on, and here we are, disciples of Christ because of the work of Christ in his disciples 2000 years ago. Let's make disciples who make disciples and reach the world!

Ryan's daily prayer

2009-07-15T20:02:00.002+12:00

This is a prayer that I read every now and again (I say daily but realistically it's biweekly). It's not like a formula or anything, but it helps me to remember aspects of God that I want to thank him for, and reflections of God that I want to be in my life. For example, we can't be both pursuing comfort in life and suffering for Christ, but indeed we are called to suffer (1 Peter 4：1）. However, SO　often I am tempted to flee suffering and sacrifice, and set my desires on the comforts and pleasures this world offers instead of keeping my armor on.

Lord, help me to embrace suffering and not pursue comfort in this life. Give me a heart that is willing to endure through life and death for you. Make me strong in the midst of spiritual battles that I can’t see.

Thank you for your wounds, taken for me; they are your glorious trophies and honour.
Thank you for your sacrificial love; who am I that you gave your life for me? Thank you that you are faithful because your word says you are. Thank you for showing me new mercies and kindness each morning. Thank you for your generosity.

Thank you for your justice that will come. Thank you for your discipline and your correction. Thank you for your continually refining work within in, perfecting me for your glory.

Thank you for your absolute holiness.

Thank you for your Spirit, revealing your infinite love and empowering me to witness. I ask you to search the depths of my heart and reveal what’s in me that is not pleasing to you so that I can confess it. Thank you that by doing so you are faithful and just to forgive me.

Fill me, lead me, and empower me with your Spirit. Help me to take every opportunity I can for the gospel. May everything I do glorify your name, and may your presence always be with me. May I be found blameless in you when you come again in wrath and vengeance. Amen.

How does Satan speak to us?

2009-07-14T22:04:00.004+12:00

Do you have any "negative self talk"? What do you say to yourself when no one else is listening?

On occasion I catch myself in a quiet place, or first thing in the morning, or late at night thinking thoughts like "you're useless", "you're wrong", "you don't deserve to be a Christian", "you're an idiot", "you're so weak", "you won't make it", and so on. Have you ever noticed anything like this in your own mind? There is a war waging there. A very real war.

But did you notice, the lies so often come in the 3rd person. Do I always refer to myself in the 3rd person? No. Why then do these thoughts or voices in my head talk to me as though someone else is saying them to me? Because they are. These are the voices of the devil talking to us. Trying to tempt us to despair. Trying to take us out of the fight and would us. To throw us off track. To convince us that "of course God is not real". To kill us.

Not only does God speak to us, but there are daemons whispering to us throughout the day. We MUST NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES. What scares me the most is that so often I hear Satan's voice in my mind louder than the voice of God. I need to saturate my mind more with scriptures.

Am I talking rubbish? Who are you believing? Satan's main target is us Christians:

Rev 12:17 So the dragon [Satan] was enraged with the woman, and went off to make war with the rest of her children, who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus.

All we need to do is resist the devil, and he will flee from us. If we listen to him and invite him to come closer; if we choose to obey him, then we will reap destruction and death and be very wounded in battle. But if we resist him by rebuking his lies with specific scriptures like Jesus did, then he will not harm us. This lifetime is war, the next is paradise. Who's side are you on?

First day of tune-in

2009-07-13T21:53:00.007+12:00

Today was the first day of B-semester 2009. I felt pretty sick - I had a chest infection all weekend and rested pretty well, but when I woke up Monday morning I faced a tough choice. I lay in bed almost in despair that although I wanted to be on campus serving Christ, I felt terrible and wanted to sleep. Strange thoughts came into my mind, thoughts of giving up my work on campus although I know I'm making a difference, and even wanting to leave the God I love, the one who has been forever faithful to me.

It was just one of those mornings I guess. I started praying that Christ would return today, and almost expected it, but then remembered the bible teaches that He will return at an hour when no one thinks he will. So I dragged myself out of bed, telling Satan to leave me by the authority I have in Christ. Warfare like this is pretty normal. It was a reminder to me once again not to live by my feelings which sometimes drive me to an attitude I do not desire to have, but instead to NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER give up when things get hard.

I could have talked myself out of it, told my boss I'm not coming in today, and been lonely and depressed at home. But instead, fighting the good fight by the grace of God, I ended up having such an encouraging day on campus seeing students get serving on the tables everywhere as well.

I remember thinking when I was at uni today that although I felt sick, although I forgot that I drove my own car, and although I was being rejected by the many stone faces reflecting hardened hearts, and although I was laughed at and given the cold shoulder by Muslims who have been taught to make us out to be the least and most despised and hated of all men, I remembered the joy of knowing Jesus as my Saviour, and realised there wasn't anywhere else I would rather be than on campus serving him with my family by reaching out to others in love. Thanks for your grace guys. Let's continue tomorrow :)

Chinese language update in the war

2009-07-09T22:19:00.004+12:00

So learning Chinese is going pretty well. It's a lot easier to pick up new words now. I've been chatting to people online using livemocha which is a pretty sweet free language learning tool. Things are going pretty well, I can have simple conversations, and share about God's love for people as the reason I'm learning.

It was just my birthday; I'm 23 now. I have a renewed passion after our mid-year conference to fight. Fight for the faith. Fight for peace and joy. Fight for love and intimacy. Fight for the good news of Jesus Christ. Fight in the midst of suffering. Fight FOR people. Fight against the Devil and his legion of daemons. Fight against sin. Fight against the power of my flesh and the influence of this world. Fight against lies. Stand firm in the truth and fight. The Lord give us strength.

2009-07-09T22:18:00.000+12:00

Here's an awesome video about God's grace:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pxBay2r2SI#

Our inheritance is love. God bless.

Chinese

2008-12-03T22:06:00.003+13:00

God has put China on my heart for at least the last couple of years. I seem to connect well with Chinese people as well. So... I decided to take some faith steps towards this and see where God leads me with it. The first major step I've decided to take is to learn the mandarin language.

Learning Chinese is hard. I discovered that pretty quickly. The words sound so much different to English, that it's hard to remember them. Nevertheless, I am generally enjoying the process, and have made new friends because of it. I am praying and seeking the Lord for how he would use this to Glorify Himself.

I had a good talk with Malcolm Barrow, the pastor of Whitiora Bible Church today. He helped me to see some of the problems that dispensationalism can cause if taken to an extreme so as to not allow past dispensations to carry through to the current one (but instead rejecting all but the current - Paul's teachings). Scripture interpretation can be quite confusing, and it's always a journey. I need to remember to stay focused on the important things: living the parts of the Word that I do know, and not getting caught up so much in who's right. Above all, I need to continue to love God and others whole heartedly.

Fruit

2008-09-23T16:22:00.001+12:00

After recovering from my virus about 90%, I had my first action group this year (with only 4 weeks of term to go). Only two guys showed up: Ryan and Damian. I gave them both bibles last week and assumed they were Christians. Well, Ryan is a Christian, and we shared our testimonies of how we became Christians. Then Damian shared and said he wasn't a Christian, but that he basically wanted to. I couldn't believe it! I didn't really know him, but I lead him in prayer for Christ to come into his life and forgive him of his sins (knowing it's his heart that God is really concerned about). Praise the Lord! I explained how Christ would never leave him according to the scriptures, and we did a little bible study on confession. I'll follow him up tomorrow with some more assurance of salvation material. What a wicked decision! I'm so excited for him! What an exciting day!

I'm speaking at crossroads tomorrow, so need to finish writing my talk now. Hopefuly I'll get a prayer newsletter out one of these days... Ciao!

Caught the bug

2008-09-21T15:29:00.001+12:00

Ugh, someone please shoot me. I caught the virus that's going around fast which causes vomiting, pain, and feavor. I was up most of the night and slept most of today :-(

The night before Otago

2008-08-31T23:30:00.001+12:00

Today I organised some last things for the trip to Otago. Myself and the Ku's plus 3 students are going on a vision trip down there for the next week to experience life on their campus ministry and see if there's any outreach ideas we can bring back to the Waikato.

I took a break from normal work today and did some games programming in the morning. Then I went grocery shopping and listened to a couple of sermons on the gifts of Exhortation and Discerning of spirits. I found 23 hours of preaching on my computer about the gifts of the Spirit and the Holy Spirit in the believer by Pastor Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel. It will be interesting to hear an in-depth pentecostal view on this theology now that I have researched the cessationist view (the miraculous gifts are no longer in use).

Tonight I write a devotional to share with the team one morning down in Otago. The devotional is on 1 Th 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I went to church tonight and Parachute Band were there playing. They were loud. I enjoyed it, but was dissapointed there was very little preaching of the Word. After church we had some fellowship at Lucy's place. Lucy and Katie made us gormet pizza. Thepizzas had random toppings - spaghetti, brocolli and cheese sauce, carrot,... hilarious! There was even a dessert pizza. I really enjoyed it! Fun times!

For some reason I have been distancing myself from people more than normal recently. I just don't seem to have anything to say around them. It's slightly depressing. I don't understand myself sometimes...
I always have this conscious desire in me to do huge things for Christ, and when I'm doing simple things that Christ even commands us to do, I feel like it's not enough. I'm finding it hard to live in the moment I guess - my focus seems to be on the future. I feel like I don't fully belong anywhere really, and I'm pretty misunderstood. Yet at the same time, I know I'm where I'm meant to be by the call of God. I guess feelings can be deceiving sometimes.

A call to preach?

2008-08-29T22:11:00.002+12:00

I went for one of my long walks today, as I do quite often. I take my mp3 player and listen to lectures at covenant theological seminary by Dr Bryan Chapell about preaching (homoletics). I've learnt so much interesting things about preparing sermons that I'm inspired, along with reading John Wesley's journal, to start writing sermons. By doing so I will at least be preaching to myself, but at best I may learn a lot while doing it, and even be able to start sharing with friends or practicing. Or maybe do what TD Jakes did and start preaching in forests. It's still doing God's will :) Just not very strategic :p either way, God seems to have ignited this passion within me after 2 years of not really giving it any thought.

I met with Jeremy the evangelist today, a real encourager. It was cool just to talk through stuff and share our passions. I talked through some questions I had about church and issues I'm working through in scripture which need to be wrestled with. Thanks Jeremy!

I was able to use the gift God gave me this afternoon of a logical mind and knowledge about computers to help Tim get started and motivated to work on an assignment that he's already late to get done and is struggling with.

I finished reading the book "Master plan of evangelism" a very good and almost academic book. Extremely rigorous with scriptures. I need to do the study at the back of it to really apply it to my life. I read Colossians today.

Yesterday I prepared a bible study about the prodigal son. It's going to go along with the la busqueta video we got given at the Christchurch CCC conference in May (which is a modern retelling of the story). I'm going to lead the outreach group next Wednesday with both resources. Hopefully God will provide a good mix of non believers, new believers, and mature believers to hear the message and discuss it. We already have 4 non-believers who are keen to come. Some are coming to learn English, some because they are just friends, and some because they are seeking Christ. Pray that they would all find Christ through our plans.

Start of mid-semester break

2008-08-25T22:12:00.002+12:00

I'm doing one paper at the moment, human development. Today was spent mostly working on the assignment I have due for that before I go off to Otago. This morning I woke up at 6am to pray when everyone was quiet and there were no distractions, then went back to sleep. I am still believing strongly for revival.

Recently I've been re-evaluating some large aspects of my faith. I've been getting back into God's word and trying to read it objectively. At the moment I'm trying to come to a conclusion as to whether the miraculous gifts are still active today through "miracle working" people like the apostles. It really comes down to the question of revelation: does God reveal new or personal knowledge to certain individuals?

This afternoon I finished the first draft of an article I am writing to go in the University Nexus magazine. The article starts with my testimony and gets into why you need Christ and how to start a relationship with Him. I pray that people will be able to relate to my story and see how real this is.

Ripple effect

2008-08-24T23:31:00.002+12:00

Back in late February I was reading the bible when I got mad at how software piracy is normal in the church. I realised I was guilty of it myself, so I got all my pirated cd's and smashed them.

Well, since then, God has used me to create a ripple effect. The waves are still travelling through the pond! Daniel was next after me to delete his music - the very next day after myself. Daniel's flatmate got convicted when he did that. Now my flatmate Aaron repented and smashed his cd's (Hilarious video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BncD5zS0l4U), and Trinity has smashed his copied PS2 games. Aaron lead a talk with all the men who came to our student lead Spring Retreat and everyone was challenged to get rid of the stealing in their lives. Stephen, Neil, and Trinity are deleting their music. Rom 2:21 says "You who preach that one should not steal, do you steal?". Well now, more guys are getting keen to live a life of integrity - away from hipocracy and are taking the disk smashing challenge! Praise the Lord! Will you join us? Will you lead your families or future families with corruption or with godly integrity?

I hear about Mike Guglielmucci building lies in front of people's eyes as a Christian leader and falling when he had to admit he lied about having terminal cancer. It's amazing what a small sin in the dark can escalate to! So once again I am reminded how important accountability is, and how I need to be more intentional and vigorous at confessing my sins to others that I trust.

A typical but praiseworthy Thursday

2008-08-21T16:46:00.001+12:00

Tried to wake up early this morning to read colossians, but I stayed in bed instead of getting out.

This morning was spent chasing down the man in charge of booking the New Life Theatre with Daniel. I eventually pinpointed a time and place where he would be from talking to people.

I then went out sharing with Sara. We approached a few people sitting around, and ended up talking to two girls in the sun. We had really good conversations with both of them, and I shared my testimony. It was probably the first time I was able to share about before I came to Christ and after, and genuinely proclaim that the joy of knowing Christ has far surpassed any other experience in my whole life, including my first year of university at college hall, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

After lunch I went out sharing with Tom, but I let Tom do the talking. We found three guys, one of whom we knew already, and Tom shared the gospel with all of them. They were extremely apathetic and didn't seem to care less about spiritual things, even though they all claimed to be Christians. We had little time left, so I encouraged them to get in a bible study group and shared from memory how they need to keep in step with the Spirit to avoid the two dangers of self-centred living and self-effort living as a believer (1 Cor 3:1-3 and Gal 3:3).

I received some athelete studies in the post from Timo today to try and do with a couple of rugby players I've met. Looking forward to getting a couple of action groups going next term. Also looking forward to Spring Retreat that our students are organising for tomorrow night!

Praise God that I got to see Him work in another day, and that he used me!

Relaxing Saturday

2008-08-16T22:22:00.001+12:00

Started the morning reading through the book of colossians (which I've endeavoured to do once each day for 50 days) and praying - my daily bread.

Listened to a couple of lectures from www.biblicaltraining.org about preaching. Dr Chapel talked about the difference between written and oral structuring. When speaking we want to emphasis key words by repeating them, whereas in writing we simply state the most important point first. In preaching we build a framework and the propositional statement is supported by that framework, but also covers all of the framework. Very interesting and profitable for my life.

I spent the afternoon with friends - Joel and Tim, and then played a two hour intense game of chess with Susannah. It was a rematch because she won last time, and this time I beat her! Susannah and Tim's friend Irene came and watched the game. She's one of those people who is really familiar but neither of us could pinpoint where we'd met before. May St flat invited me for dinner and we enjoyed some fellowship and stories.

A long but rewarding Friday.

2008-08-15T17:32:00.001+12:00

I took a short film on my phone with Kate to start spiritual conversation. I felt the Lord was leading me to management block, but it was pouring with rain and I felt equally at peace with 'cutting it short' to teacher's block.We met with a man named Robert who was about my age (22), but was a single father of two children. Robert was a Christian, and he recognised the video to be a retelling of the prodical's son. Robert was finding it difficult to go to church with children, so Kate and I made a few suggestions. The Lord then crossed our paths again at lunch time when Robert wandered in to the food court to have lunch where many student lifers were enjoying fellowship. I called himover and he ate with us. Robert is keen to join an action group bible study I am trying to set up, and he is going to try his best to come to our student lead spring retreat at the end of next week. Praise God for that.

I also tried to meet with a Korean named Yoong Soo Chung, and I ended up meeting his friend, but he never showed up. Unfortunately I was late because of talking with Robert, so perhaps it was my fault. I saw Edward who I talked with yesterday when sharing with Joel, and this time I was able to show him the gospel, but it was difficult to share with him, and he did not agree with the perspective that all have sinned. He said it implied creation theory, and I told him that was true. The message of Christ is a stumbling block to some. I pray Lord, that you would open Edward's eyes to your truth, and reveal falsity in the "secret knowledge" doctrines he believes.

The rest of my day was filled with meetings, reading the bible, prayer, and staff development time (we're going through the book about spiritual disciplines by John Ortberg entitled 'the life you've always wanted'), which is very beneficial to me. We closed the week with muffin time, a time where as a staff team we can reflect on the good and bad points of this week. I had a good week of constant joy, so I found this difficult because I saw God's hand at work everywhere (which was my high point), but my low point was seeing my flatmate Phil's passion fade away more when he didn't get accepted for a mission trip to east asia that he applied for, and then had little desire to apply for a local beach project for the third year running. I am still surprised to see how much God is at work in people's hearts and how thankful they are to hear the good news.

Sowing, sowing, sowing

2008-08-14T14:41:00.001+12:00

I shared the gospel with a Chinese man today at the university of Waikato. He was interested in hearing about it. I was once again delighted to see conviction on a man's face and an understanding in the heart of the good news. He said there was nothing stopping him from becoming a Christian, but when I asked him if he'd like to pray now he said no, and we laughed at that. It wasn't God's timing, but we weren't sure what was keeping him from coming to Christ, so I had to wish him a good day and leave the results to God. Another seed sown, which I pray will land on fertile soil.

Insights into faith

2008-03-20T15:56:00.002+13:00

Faith, what is it?

I was reading back into some of Charles H. Spurgeon's teachings "All of Grace" in e-sword, of which there is a very nice rendition here: http://www.spurgeon.org/all_of_g.htm, and I came accross this in Chapter 8 "Faith, what is it?" about half way through:

Faith is not a blind thing; for faith begins with knowledge. It is not a speculative thing; for faith believes facts of which it is sure. It is not an unpractical, dreamy thing; for faith trusts, and stakes its destiny upon the truth of revelation. That is one way of describing what faith is.

The Strength of a Man

2008-03-12T15:16:00.000+13:00

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his Heart ... that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he's loved.
It's in how he can be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.

© July 15, 1999
Scorpiox2x@aol.com
Jacqueline Marie Griffiths
(Written for H. Rochon)

Grandma's funeral and a light to the world

2008-03-07T21:16:00.004+13:00

My grandmother passed away peacefully after having a stroke this week. She was my Mum's mum. The funeral today was sad but releasing. Gran was ready to go. It was good to have the whole family there to shed tears with, and to be able to stick by my mum the whole time. At a time when we naturally think about death and things beyond the physical world, let me share a few conversations that I had today.

We had a party afterwards at my uncle's. I found out there that Gran's deceased husband - the love of her life, was an Anglican freemason (however that could possibly work - apparently you just have to believe in a god to be a freemason), but they fell away from the faith after my step-grandfather lead the whole Auckland community for a time. Very interesting.

It's interesting how people share these "religious" things with me now without me saying or doing much. I was worried before that it would be weird sharing my faith with my family members. But I don't really care anymore because I'm secure in Christ, and He has got me to a place where I can be mostly unjudgemental of non-believers (this has taken a while). I'm happy to be who I am around anyone.

But today, I had my guard down. I had let my tears out at the funeral and had no other believers around to help lift me up in the faith. I was pretty vulnerable, and I wasn't acting. I was myself. Now I usually show up at family gatherings and get comments like "you need to get out in the sun more" or "so you been partying hard in Hamilton?" or worse - no comments or conversation at all. I thought today would be worse still since I hadn't shaven my face in a while - I pretty much have a beard. But now these are some of the comments I got from family members today: not a single negative one...

One of my uncles (Ken) encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing. He instantly saw me as a new person it seemed and couldn't seem to figure it out (I don't think he'd seen me since God entered my life) - he had a big talk to me telling me to keep at my job, but to seek lifestyle instead of money in corporate settings (because of his own personal experience). I think he thought I was still pursuing computers, and couldn't figure out really how that had brought me so much joy. I feel like he saw me as someone worthy of sharing his wisdom with.

Ken surprisingly kept telling me how great I looked, really meaning it. He insisted I had grown up into a fine man. He invited me to stay at his camp site any time at all in Invercargill. And this is like a pristine camp site. Ken is the ultimate perfectionist and hates people my age who leave the place a mess after they leave (he won't even let them stay anymore). I even told him I have 20 minute showers when I'm on holiday and he almost had a heart attack because of how much they pay for power and gas down there. But I think he invited me because of my character, which I like to think of as God living inside of me, because I cannot give myself any credit for it. Ken's main message was to encourage me to do what I'm doing long term, and work and live with a balance as though it is, so as to not burn myself out.

I met one guy about my age who had just bought a house with his girlfriend (hadn't completely thought through marriage yet). I shared with him how God had changed my life - from smashing pirated CD's to not looking at women with lust in my heart either on the internet (pornography) or in person (day-to-day). I told him how I wanted to give up checking women out that so I could honour my future wife because things wouldn't suddenly change when I'm married. I told him about the illusion of lust that's dragged over our eyes by Satan - how no matter how much you feed your mind, you will never be satisfied and you will always want more. It will snowball. The dude was blown away, and asked isn't that hard when you follow the bible, not to give in to temptations? I said yeah, it is, and sometimes I stumble. It's really hard. But it's worth it. I told him it would be impossible without God, which is what I truly believe.

My other uncle (Ken's brother), Chris, the one who shared about my freemason step-grandfather, had a completely separate conversation with me. Chris told me how good I looked! These were his exact words near the end of our long conversation: "Keep doing whatever you're doing. You seem to be really happy doing it. I can actually see it beaming off your face, it's amazing." and he did nothing but encourage me to keep working with students at university, and to keep support raising for that.

What strange things to say! Uncle Chris actually described my face as beaming even though I felt normal (and in fact, tired). It reminds me of something Jesus said. He says in Matthew 5:12-14 "You are the salt of the earth...You are the light of the world." and describes how we must let our light shine before men so that they see our good deeds and praise our Father in heaven.

Christians are like God's hands and feet, so don't be afraid to be who you are around others. If you are not saved, then you need to be. It is my desire that none will perish, and all will come to know Christ and Him crucified. Death is just an illusion. It is crossing over from this world to the next. While this world is temporary, the next is eternal. Everyone knows this deep in their hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). To read more, visit http://www.needgod.com

Pirated Disk Smash

2008-02-24T10:33:00.002+13:00

Check it out. I spent all of saturday getting rid of a virus on my computer. What a waste of time. It was my own fault for trying to crack some software illegally. Afterwards I was reading my bible and I started to get mad at software piracy. I realised stealing was still my master. It appears almost normal in the church that we hand around pirated software. God convicted me that it just isn't worth it. It's all going to be burnt in the pit of fire and brimstone on judgement day, and it's not something I can take with me when I leave this world. Matthew 18:18 is Jesus talking to the church, and he says "Whatever you permit on earth with be permitted in heaven, and whatever you allow on earth will be allowed in heaven". Well, I don't know about you, but I don't want some saint ripping my software off for eternity. Well okay, so that's not accurate, but you get what I mean. This is how furious I was at it.

In fact, using illegal software makes me just the same as someone from this world (as opposed to someone set apart as God's own holy child). I took a hammer and smashed up every single illegal CD, movie, software, and document; and I deleted every mp3 file that was illegal and cleaned out my hard drive: uninstalled every piece of software I was using that wasn't legit, and left nothing of the kind standing. And I'm not bad off now. I feel victorious.

Sorry about the bad video, but that wasn't my focus:

Bible Encyclopedia

2008-01-05T14:12:00.000+13:00

I've been using this tool more and more. It's available for free as an additional download for e-sword, and I'm sure other bible software too.

The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia. Have you ever been reading the bible, and wondered "what does that word mean??" - well the ISBE is a very comprehensive bible dictionary. It gives some huge historical insights into practically any english word of the bible. It is especially useful for biblical characters and doctrines such as "election" and "adoption" I've found. The encyclopedia contains basically a collection of essays that aren't afraid to go back to the original greek in a way anyone can understand. If you're struggling a little to interpret the bible in context, I would highly recommend the ISBE. Also, if you don't have e-sword, go and get it today at http://www.e-sword.com

Our strength or God's strength?

2007-12-21T13:30:00.000+13:00

One of the most common things I hear chucked around in Christian circles, and I have been saying it to people too, goes along the lines of "Are you doing it on God's strength or your own strenth?"

But is this even a valid question? God hasn't yet revealed that to me biblically - would anyone like to use examples from scripture of characters who tried to do stuff on their own strenth versus with God's empowerment? Is this a New Testament thing?

I would love to hear people's opinions about this statement. What exactly does it mean? Is it biblical theology? How do we know when we are doing something in God's strenth? Isn't everything we do in God's strength - I heard someone else say that "We're only alive because God is keeping us alive", which sounds pretty true to me since God brought us into existence in the first place.

Does the question simply entail being filled with the Spirit? If so, how full do we have to be of the Spirit to be doing something in God's strength? And again, how can we be sure?

The big 1/4

2007-12-09T12:58:00.000+13:00

Yes!!! I'm 25% of the way done support raising. What a milestone! 6 weeks into support raising for Student Life - it's been a rollercoaster of a time so far, but it's paying off. I'm going to need some serious prayer and help and butt-kicking to raise the rest in the 9 remaining weeks I have. God can do it! If he could pay levites to burn animals and eat them full-time, then I'm sure he will provide for a fisher of men. Don't you love my reasoning?

Progress

2007-12-05T10:15:00.000+13:00

Support raising efforts are at 20% pledged, but I've had a number of people who say they will support me, but haven't decided on an amount - therefore I can't add them to my calculation. Things have been pretty up and down, and I feel a bit like I've been stuck inside for too long and my light has been put under a basket instead of on a lamp stand. Starting to remember that balance in life is important :-)

I've realised that I'm inherently a calvinist in my beliefs, but that those beliefs don't always live out in practise - especially when witnessing. They are more the underlying big picture as seen more from God's eyes than my own. Being down here on earth where we have an apparent free will, and can't see God working in people, it's a bit of a different story - it comes to obeying God then (esp. praying and preaching). Hmmm what an interesting mindset to try and define, but I think I just did.

I've been getting into some inductive bible study recently. It's been awesome! I've been pressing deep into God, and he's been drawing closer to me. I'm definitely an intellectual. It's slow study, but the depth is way worth it - I find I remember scripture way easier. I don't have to intentionally memorise it when I study inductively - I just understand it so well that I can use it in context when talking to people (I think that's how it works). Praise the Holy Spirit of truth! Oh, there's a good book we got given in new staff training about the technique (it seems to me like deriving your own study notes and chapter and book titles & themes). The book is called "How to study your bible" by Kay Arthur. It's pretty cheap on amazon.. highly recommended.

That's it for now, God bless and have a Merry Christmas! Remember to take time this Christmas to remember Christ and what he did for us - and how gracious the Father was to send Him. We don't deserve Him at all, but God in his love lavished the riches of His grace upon us! (Eph 1:7,8)

Status Report

2007-11-05T21:52:00.000+13:00

Well, I'm going to try and keep blogging to hold myself accountable to learning. While support raising efforts are maxed out, I'm not necessarily growing spiritually anymore. This is pretty critical; actually, I believe it to be the most important thing on earth. So I need to do it.

I was a little put off by blogging because I know that I will be judged more strictly if I teach. And so I don't want to teach wrongly! But recently I've discovered two awesome words. Exegeses and Eisegeses. Both are ways of interpreting scripture.

Exegeses: always good. you start with the passage of scripture, and go outwards from the meaning of that.

Eisegeses: generally bad because you have a concept and you try and find scripture to back it up (you usually always can too - but it's not the complete picture). This isn't systematic and can lead to heresies, because it's not representing "what does this scripture actually say".

Well, if I ensure my hermeneutics are based on exegeses, then I should in theory be able to share sound theology. God willing, I will be able to do it in practise. Now that we've got the big words out of the way, I'll share something a little more tangible:

Support Raising Status: Currently 8% (pledge received). God is providing, and it's great to see people get excited about what God's doing on campus. However, I'm starting to feel the burn, and am getting quite tired. I've started having afternoon naps even though I've been eating pretty well, exercising, and sleeping regularly and properly. I'm gonna try iron suppliments as recommended by Beth's mum (it always takes a mum), and maybe slow down the pace just a tad.

If you are reading this please pray for me now. It's hard work! God bless you all.

Full-time with Campus Crusade

2007-10-31T09:45:00.000+13:00

Well, I've officially been accepted on staff as a missionary for Campus Crusade for Christ for 2008, and I'll be placed at the University of Waikato!

Student Life is actually what we call ourselves on campus in New Zealand - the other name doesn't go down well with muslims and the like. I'm busy support raising, and I'm looking for a team of prayer and financial supporters. I'm trusting God to raise about $3450 per month at the moment before I can start on campus next year - a huge amount, I'm just hoping he can trust me with it! I'm really excited about this, so if you're keen on supporting me in any way, shoot me an email at rocifier@gmail.com

Stuff that we do on campus are outreaches to students like hot chocolate giveaways in the middle of winter, 1 on 1 discipleship, group bible studies, help serve students at the halls by moving them in, evangelism training, actively sharing on campus every day, give away free magazines and share the gospel with those who are interested, and prayer & praise at the chapel. We also have a weekly meeting which is a less daunting place to bring friends along to than church - where we have people giving testimonies and a guest speaker each time.

Incase you're wondering why so much per month? Well, finances go toward: ministry resources, training, travel, phone calls, conferences and retreats, admin, office supplies, money for me to live, an overseas trip, and more.

Please get in touch if you'd like to help fulfill the great commision on campus. Students are strategic - they graduate and go all over the world to leadership positions where they have an influence. We can't just let them pass through without having the opportunity to say yes to Jesus! God bless.

Learn theology from credible professors for free online

2007-10-16T22:54:00.001+13:00

I've stumbled across one of the most sound theological resources on the internet. After seeing so much crap out there by people with no qualifications whatsoever, I finally found a website which has recorded whole courses at leading seminaries and divinity schools around the world. The website http://www.biblicaltraining.org/ is funded by donations alone, and is costing tens of thousands to finish (they want a proper curriculum up).

Every speaker on the website has a doctorate in theology. As an academic, this is particularly important for me. There are so many people out there with their own interpretations of the bible (my blog is probably one of them). Having a qualification in theology means you at least have knowledge of what sound evangelical doctrines are. It's important to be discerning in these end days. I've looked over their in-depth statement of faith and it sounds excellent too. Finally, I can go to harvard divinity school without leaving my bedroom! Stoked!!! The only thing is, I'll be getting the knowledge without getting the qualifications... hmmm..

Can some other people please check it out and let me know your opinions about it (reply to this post). It almost seems too good to be true. Please do check it out properly though instead of writing it off as just another free online source.

The purpose of music

2007-08-12T14:28:00.000+12:00

You know, I've been thinking a lot lately. One thing I've been thinking about is the whole music pirating issue. Why does it not feel like stealing when I download music that would normally cost me a small fortune?

Why does it naturally seem so right that music should be shared? And without putting holes in our pockets...

Why is music pleasing to our brains? What possible reason do we have to enjoy music - rythmic beats and melodies?

Music exists for worship. We are supposed to play music for our God and others, and the feelings we get are a side-effect blessing of listening to the music ourselves. What other possible reason do we have to enjoy music so much, and even depend on it in our lives sometimes? Why does our conscience tell us that music should be a free thing, and that music companies shouldn't be making billions off sales? I agree that some people take up some process of producing music as a job, and they deserve their pay, but is a new album really worth $30NZD+ for a copy? Shouldn't we be free to sing or play songs that others have written? What's with all the copyright crap? Would you pay money to listen to the radio? Why does everyone wish they could sing if they don't think they can in their eyes?

I believe something has gone wrong with music over the centuries. Instead of worshipping the Lord with our music, we have turned it around and we now worship good musicians as idols.

Taking the most popular two views of existence, the reason we are able to connect with music so well doesn't make sense for either of them except in the circumstance of worship:

Evolution: How could we evolve to enjoy music? Or better yet, why?? If you follow natural selection, why would the better of us be the ones who can understand music? Is music really that critical to our survival?

Special Creation: If God created us in his image, why would he create us to enjoy music? Does God enjoy music?

God enjoys the music of our hearts. Audio is one way of expressing our love for God, and as mentioned in the bible it is an important one. Why do we sing at every church service no matter what sort of church it is? It's just normal right. Imagine if we had to pay to worship Jesus at church. Hah! The bible has hundreds of verses about people singing to the Lord; singing with all their voice and all their heart. There's even a whole book (Psalms) in the bible containing just songs in the original hebrew language it was written in. But there's no book in the bible about selling music.

There are so many verses I could list to sum up this post, but I'm going to just pick 1 - one of my favourite. It's Ephesians 5:19,20 from the NIV:

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

So let me encourage you. If you are singing for God, it doesn't matter if you don't sound perfect in your own eyes. If your heart is right with God, then to Him it sounds just like what you were made for. The longer I live, the more I come to the conclusion that the reason for our existence is to glorify God.

I'd love to hear your comments on this. If you agree, please let me know by posting a comment. If you disagree, I'd love to hear too!

Upcoming Free Accountability Software

2007-08-04T16:03:00.000+12:00

Hey all you men out there. I'm writing some free accountability software for Windows. Basically it collects all the urls you visit on the net & the time and user who visits them and emails them to a trusted friend each week. This keeps your computer one step closer to a public computer so that someone can hit us up if we fall into the devil's snare.

I need everyone to keep replying to this or messaging and texting or emailing or even calling me or talking to me in person to ask how it's going and to tell me they want to see it finished. Even if it's not something that would help you, imagine how many first year uni guys or high schoolers it would help - I just need to finish it! This will be the first free software of it's kind that I know of. Cheers.

Focusing my time and efforts

2007-07-21T16:09:00.000+12:00

I've re-prioritised this half of the year. This semester I'm focusing on building into other people (discipling) as well as evangelising. Evangelising is simply preaching the good news of Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and leaving the results to God.

I'm being stepped up a bit in leadership and I'm going to be leading a team at the cafe at Eastside Apostolic Church's Sunday night service (7pm).

I plan to lead an action group this semester (with Student Life on campus) - a small group of guys who I'm building into with the ultimate goal of glorifying God by being a servant and sharing his good news. This is the concept of spiritual multiplication - these guys in turn will hopefully build into many others throughout their lives. I guess I'm focusing more on relationships with others this semester.

Jeremy Sargent and I are planning to hold an evangelism workshop at Eastside in late September. I've really bought into the vision of "Here I am Send me" and so will probably be posting and maintaining the website for that instead of my personal blog. I might also be updating the manual to be more concise, interactive, and coherent. At the moment the manual is somewhat difficult to follow and understand without someone teaching the content to you. We'd like to put it up on the website eventually to help get it out there faster, and for those who can't make it to the workshop. I'm excited about the program and what God is going to do through us as we partner together to take the course to a new level. I can see a huge future for it - training local churches to evangelise and building into them and their leadership enough that they'll be able to keep it going with just the website as a resource. It would be amazing to travel around and do that once the program is finished. For more info see http://www.hereiamsendme.org/.

And that's it really, as well as obviously spending quiet time with God! :)

A little more in the future - I'm applying for Student Life as a full-time intern for 2008 (and will need to raise support if I'm accepted - relying completely on God for an income!).

Only to be with you

2007-07-18T19:57:00.000+12:00

I'm listening to U2 - Only to be with you right now. If you have it, go play it before you read on. So I'm just thinking about God, as always. And I've had some thoughts.

The lyrics remind me of how much Jesus has done for us.
"I have climbed highest mountains; I have run through the fields; only to be with you."

Since our very existance, God has been reaching out to us simply saying "I only want to be with you". For every person who believes in Him, God has already gone out of his way just to be with them. God has gone to extremes. Jesus came to earth and suffered tremendously for us. He died for all of us as an innocent man. He just loves us that much. If a sinners death is the price God has to pay just to be with us, then he will do it; and he did.

That's all I wanted to share. Thank you God for your unfailing love.

conference and my 21st birthday

2007-07-09T22:09:00.000+12:00

I just came back from Student Life's Tune-In conference. It was from the 1 to 6 of July, and was amazing! I was excrutiatingly tired for most of it (we got an average of 5.5 hours sleep each night), but I still learned a lot. John Lamb from the states taught that we need to show grace before truth as Jesus did. God also spoke to me through John and revealed a little more about how much grace and love he has for the world. He challenged us with the question "are we simply allowing God to love us?". There was a cartoon character dress up night, and a formal banquet on the last night which were both totally awesome. Finally, I made a commitment to apply for a full-time internship at Student Life next year!

So I had a good sleep after conference, then got water baptised. I was so happy. My whole family came to the church service which was packed and full of life. We had a guest speaker from aussie - James Macphearson, who was amazing. He was so funny. And he did a really long alter call at the end. None of my friends or family went up though. My mum was crying her eyes out afterwards. I don't think she'd ever experienced anything like it. Praise God! After the service was my baptism. I had some really encouraging words spoken to me afterwards. Lots of people said I was a huge inspiration in their lives. I was overwhelmed.

Then we had lunch at gengy's. I had about 30 people come which was totally awesome. We had a ball! Everyone met people and celebrated while eating and drinking too much (my parents paid for it all !!!!!!!). My parents were totally thrilled for me and I think we changed their perception of Christianity, as well as my 3 not-yet christian mates who were there. My dad shared a whole lot of embarassing things I did when I was a kid. He had a whole folder of naked photos - soo embarassing, but everyone split their sides in laughter at hearing my dad describe me now as having a laptop in one hand, a bible in the other, standing in pink gumboots (he had a similar photo). Luckily he also shared some highlights about my life like awards I'd won and my passions.

Then something awesome happened. After my dad gave his speech, everyone made me stand up. I had no idea what to say, so I started by making some comments about what my dad said - admitted they were all true. Then God put it in my heart to share my testimony because there were 6 non-believers in the room. But I spoke to everyone (encouraging christians too).

I shared my story - how I came to know Jesus, and I shared it in a way that related to what my father said! It was such a God thing. I told everyone the truth that out of all the highlights in my life - the awards won, and decisions I've made -the decision to know Jesus personally was the best decision by far that I've ever made. I said "I think it's a good way to go in life - I believe it's the only way". I was so satisfied with the boldness Jesus gave me at that time! It was so perfect!

My parents had said when I became a Christian I seemed happier - but it took me a while to tell them about my decision. At the end of my speech I commented and said there was a difference between happiness and joy. What I have in Jesus is joy - in the good times and the bad. I told how I have hope in Jesus in those down times. How I used to get depressed because I couldn't see the hope. And finally thanked everyone with all my heart for coming. It meant more than anything to me that my close friends and family could be there on that day. (I remember in the morning as my friends arrived I was in tears praying for God to reveal himself to them)

So yeah, it was a good day :-) We had cake, did some singstar (altho I sucked it was funny), then Went to church at night too, and served in the cafe - one of my favourite places to serve God by serving others. What a long day! But it was the best birthday of my life because JESUS CAME TO MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!

I'm going to inspire conference at Eastside Apostolic next week, so will hopefully write something about that soon. Thanks for reading! I'm still yet to publish my journal from Fiji in easter this year. Too busy living in the here and now sharing about the good news of Jesus on campus! God bless, Ryan.

A simple view

2007-06-11T12:18:00.000+12:00

I wanted to share an excerpt from Martyrs in the Jesus Freaks series from The Voice of the Martyrs. It's a true story of a theif in prison named Nikolai Khamara - sentenced for 10 years. He's in a communist prison cell in the 1970s in U.S.S.R. with some Christians who are being persecuted for refusing to deny their faith in Jesus.

"What kind of men are these?" wondered Nikolai Khamara.
"They show joy while suffering. They sing in very dark hours. When they have a piece of bread, they share it with someone who has none. Morning and evening, they fold their hands and speak to someone whom no one can see. As they do, their faces shine."

One day two Christians sat down with Khamara. He told them the sad story of his life and described himself as "a man with no confidence". He finished by saying "I am a lost man."

One of the Christians asked Khamara "Suppose somebody loses a gold ring. What is the value of that gold ring when it is lost?"

"What a foolish question!" Khamara replied. "A gold ring is a gold ring. You have lost it, but somebody else will have it."

"Then what is the value of a lost man?" the Christian asked. Answering his own question, he continued, "A lost man, even one who is a theif or an adulterer or a murderer, has the whole value of a man. He is of such value that the Son of God forsook heaven for him and died on the cross to save him."

Khamara understood.

The Christian said to the robber, "God loves you. You are valuable to him.
When Jesus met drunkards, robbers, prostitutes, or others who had committed great sins, He never asked them what sins they had committed. Instead, He told them, 'Be of good cheer. Your sins are forgiven.' I also tell you, Khamara, that your sins are forgiven because Jesus died for you. You only have to beieve."

Well, Khamara became a Christian. Some time later, the pastor of Khamara's church was arrested. The pastor wouldn't tell his torturers where to find any of the members of his church. But the KGB found Khamara. They threatened to torture Khamara infront of the pastor if he didn't speak up. The pastor was terrified. "what should I do??" he asked Khamara.

Khamara said to him, "Be faithful to Jesus and do not betray Him. I am happy to suffer for the name of Christ."

After gouging Khamara's eyes out, they threatened to cut out his tongue. In despair the pastor cried "What should I do?"

Khamara's last words were, "Praise the Lord Jesus Christ. I have said the highest words that can be said. Now, if you wish, you can cut out my tongue."

Khamara died a martyr's death.

Pretty extreme, eh? Stepping back from the torture and death, I wanted to point out why this witnessing was so successful:

1) The Christians witnessed with their lives, actions, and hearts. Even though their life was being lived in prison at the survival level, they still lives a life centered around others. There's no excuses!

2) The Christians took the initiative to sit with Khamara and listen to him.

3) Khamara was a broken man and knew he was lost. He knew he had done wrong and deserved his sentence. This probably made it easier, but still, they witnessed using a parable that the man could understand. They went down to his level. They put themselves in his shoes. They talked about losing a gold ring - something the man could easily identify with.

4) They communicated in love. This man thought he was worthless. But the Christians gently told him the truth - that God thinks he is valuable. That he is loved. And that God forgives him of his sins no matter what he's done, and that He did that by dying as a perfect man for us and getting resurrected. I especially like it how they make it so simple - "all you have to do is believe".

And from my experience, that's always what it comes down to. People either believe, or they don't. They either have salvation from their sins through Jesus Christ, or they don't (1Jn 5:11,12).

Microsoft Surface

2007-06-07T16:25:00.000+12:00

Check out this cool new technology. It allows you to do touchscreen stuff not just with your fingers but with objects on a table. I can imagine these in hundreds of malls in China and other places around the world. Could this be a bigger way to spread bugs around than the escalator? I rekon it might actually be of use - I love the idea for ordering at a restaurant in one of the videos below.

http://www.microsoft.com/surface/

We are chosen by the Father to do His work

2007-05-19T13:23:00.001+12:00

While in the bathroom at the University of Waikato Chapel (out of all places!) I had a revelation about how awesome it is that God wants to use me for his great plan. I was thinking how cool it is that people ask me to help them out with things; hire me for work etc. but then I realized "Oh man! Our LORD and creator has hired me! How can I be worthy of this??" – I felt exactly as Paul did when he wrote this to Timothy:

1Ti 1:12 I give thanks to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength for my work. I thank him for considering me worthy and appointing me to serve him, even though in the past I spoke evil of him and persecuted and insulted him. But God was merciful to me because I did not yet have faith and so did not know what I was doing.

I've known this for a while, but never really clicked on to how awesome that is. I would encourage anyone reading this to think about the opportunity they have in their life to help fulfill the biggest commission of all time. It's cool that people can work over many generations to build insane things like Pyramids in Egypt, but it's even cooler that we can be a part of a plan that's already been worked on for thousands of years - building God's kingdom.

2007-05-14T08:46:00.001+12:00

I was contemplating this morning about the scripture of Luke 9:23. As a Christian, I often hear about people who start their day in prayer. I'm told we need to read our bible daily and give ourselves over to God. This verse tells us we need to do these things:

Luk 9:23 (KJV) And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

To me, this verse is saying two things:

We must die to ourselves and all our desires, sins, and attitudes. This for the point of allowing Jesus to save us from sin, and then to perfect us into better people until the day He returns (Philippians 1:6).
When I think of how Jesus carried his cross in ancient days – it was upon his back. The cross was a symbol for death, and is now a symbol of Christ (I know, I need some references for this…). So it's metaphorically saying that we need to lift Jesus and therefore death above ourselves – to put him above anything in our lives. And we need to do this daily. Nowadays we follow Jesus by obeying his words written in the bible.

Because Jesus actually said this, I can't stress how important it is. It is the Word of God! Just be obedient to it and see what happens. Start the day with prayer – commit yourself to God and tell him that he's first in your life. Deny yourself and take up Jesus daily J

We see what our ancestors saw

2007-05-08T22:46:00.000+12:00

I was looking up at the sky tonight. There was a surreal moonlight thing going on in the clouds. There were stars through the gaps in the clouds. We live in a beautiful world!

Often when I just sit back and admire God's creation, I have a revelation about something. That happened tonight when I took 5 seconds out of my night to stare up at the stars from Hamilton.

I thought back to people thousands of years ago, and realised that almost everything on earth is probably different now than what they would have seen. But not the sky... they would have seen the clouds, stars, sun, and moonlight very similarly to what we see now. It's not surprising that when people think of heaven, they think of the sky. The sky is something that's consistent. The clouds won't change colour. There will always be moonlight and sunrises.

And it's the same with God who is in heaven. God's character is not going to change over the ages of time. He's not going to go back on his promises. Psalm 119:90 is talking to God, and it says "Your faithfulness endures through all the ages; you have set the earth in place, and it remains."

Also, I think we can be more connected to God now than in the past when his secrets were hidden. There is a lot of scripture which tells us this:

Paul writes:
Rom 16:25 Let us give glory to God! He is able to make you stand firm in your faith, according to the Good News I preach about Jesus Christ and according to the revelation of the secret truth which was hidden for long ages in the past.

Eph 3:8 I am less than the least of all God's people; yet God gave me this privilege of taking to the Gentiles the Good News about the infinite riches of Christ,
Eph 3:9 and of making all people see how God's secret plan is to be put into effect. God, who is the Creator of all things, kept his secret hidden through all the past ages,
Eph 3:10 in order that at the present time, by means of the church, the angelic rulers and powers in the heavenly world might learn of his wisdom in all its different forms.
Eph 3:11 God did this according to his eternal purpose, which he achieved through Christ Jesus our Lord.
Eph 3:12 In union with Christ and through our faith in him we have the boldness to go into God's presence with all confidence.

I'm liking this Good News Bible translation :-)
This scripture also shows us it's God working in us..

Col 1:25 And I have been made a servant of the church by God, who gave me this task to perform for your good. It is the task of fully proclaiming his message,
Col 1:26 which is the secret he hid through all past ages from all human beings but has now revealed to his people.
Col 1:27 God's plan is to make known his secret to his people, this rich and glorious secret which he has for all peoples. And the secret is that Christ is in you, which means that you will share in the glory of God.
Col 1:28 So we preach Christ to everyone. With all possible wisdom we warn and teach them in order to bring each one into God's presence as a mature individual in union with Christ.
Col 1:29 To get this done I toil and struggle, using the mighty strength which Christ supplies and which is at work in me.

Kings and prophets longed to see the power of Jesus' resurrection that we can experience today:
Luk 10:23 Jesus turned to his disciples in private and said to them, "How blessed you are to see what you've seen.
Luk 10:24 I can guarantee that many prophets and kings wanted to see and hear what you've seen and heard, but they didn't."

Eph 3:11 above talks about God sending Jesus at the time he did according to his eternal purpose. I don't quite understand that as a human being with limited knowledge, but the preceding sentence gave a little revelation into it. It says that God wanted us and heaven to look back at history and see His wisdom in all it's forms. That's kinda cool... God has a huge history, and I encourage anyone seeking the truth to look back at it to see how he has been working in our world to bring it to what it is!!! I know I'll be reading more of the old testament now.

Finally, God is still the same supreme being that our ancestors worshipped. So that's another thing we see that our ancestors saw. I guess what I'm trying to point out though is that we get to see even more of God than they could have when they were on earth! High five God! Thank you for sending us your only and beloved Son Jesus Christ.

Thanks for reading my random segued thoughts. Any questions or want to know more? Just drop me an email.

My Water Baptism

2007-05-07T23:41:00.000+12:00

I realised my birthday is on a Sunday this year! Why is that exciting? Because I've been meaning to be water baptised - make a public declaration of my faith in Jesus Christ. Water baptism symbolizes Jesus' death and resurrection - dying to our old selves and starting an exciting new (eternal!) life in Him.

So for anyone reading this who's interested in coming along, I'm going to ask Eastside Apostolic Church in Hamilton if they would hold a baptism after the 10:40am service on July 8. Put it on your calendar! Everyone is invited, even if you're not a Christian.

New blog :-)

2007-05-05T15:06:00.000+12:00

This is my new blog site. I realised there was no point in paying for a website for another year that just had a blog on it and wasn't even as good as Google's Blogger. For those technical people, the RSS syndication url for this blog is http://ryanoc.blogspot.com/rss.xml

This website will cover two main topics: Technology, and Christianity.
I plan to share my spiritual views to the world and to help people seek the truth to life's big questions. I'm currently studying computer science, and I'm a Microsoft Student Partner. So I will be advertising for various Microsoft events happening in Hamilton, New Zealand.

I've named this blog God -> Ryan -> World -> God. The reason for this is that God is first, and he will be using me (Ryan) to share about Him to the World, who ultimately end up knowing God personally. God is also the beginning and the end of life as we know it, so it seems quite fitting. I will also be sharing to the world about cool technology and software that's out there. However, my main passion is Jesus Christ, and serving Him; so I will more than likely be heading into full-time ministry where God has called me to be a missionary after I graduate. No doubt computers will come into play somewhere in my walk with the Lord.

Christian Divorce Rates

2007-03-04T18:02:00.000+13:00

Some people have been told that church statistics are the same as those who don't attend church. For those of us who frequent church (weekly), this is discouraging. However, it's not true!! The statistics are actually encouraging!

I did a bit of investigating for myself because, being the logical person I am, I don't generally like to accept statistics on a once-heard basis. I prefer to see stuff written down instead of hearing it in a sermon. I looked up statistics mainly on divorce, since this is such a hugely controversial topic for many people, and one that the church focuses on (or should focus on!) a lot.

I can tell you that 48% of all non-Christians get divorced, while only 32% of all frequent Christians get divorced. Frequent is attending church at least about once a week or more. This data comes from the General Social Survey (GSS, 2000-2004)—one of the best known sources of sociological data.

For more information, and a few more statistics about other religions and Christians who don't attend church, Bradley Wright did a pretty concise analysis, and also comments on why some people may be getting mis-informed from a well publicized study by George Barna. Check out his blog post here.

By the way, if anyone wants to know, because it took me a while to find: According to the 2006 New Zealand Census, 53% of New Zealanders show a relation to some kind of Christian denomination. BUT it's a common belief that only about 5% of those Christians are living a full and satisfied life keeping God top priority, and growing spiritually because of that.

Four Fundamental Questions of Life

2007-02-28T18:07:00.000+13:00

When talking to people of all walks of life, I find that we differ most in opinion about the following four questions:

What's the origin of life?

Are moral standards set by culture? If not, where do they come from?

What's our destiny?

What's the meaning of life?

I sometimes found myself confused and scared when I thought about the answers to these questions. I used to believe we had no soul and that when we died we simply died in the physical way. Let me tell you, that's the devil trying to pull you down into hell. I even had to rewrite this entire article because the devil wouldn't allow it to be saved on my website that easily. And I'm a computer expert.

Life is more than just the physical. We are spiritual beings, hence why most of the Human population has believed in some form of higher being since the beginning of time. The good news is that God in the flesh, Jesus Christ, provided answers for all of these questions and more. His answers to the above four questions are in line with reality and have internal consistency, unlike any other faith system. Click read more below to find out the answers.

You mean someone knows where we came from?

You bet! The book of Genesis in The Bible tells us that we are created in God's image by God himself. We are not identical to God, but distinct from Him. Since we are created in his image, God gave us dominion over all living creatures and plants. Furthermore, because we are made in His image, this accounts for human beings having a moral point of reference.

Moral point of what?

Moral point of reference. In a nutshell God gave us free will and the conscience to know what is right and wrong in our hearts. However, it's in our nature to try and live life our own way, by the corrupt moral standards imposed from society and culture. We can inevitably set those values, so it doesn't make any sense to judge us against them. But there's a set of morals that don't change: The entry requirements to heaven as set by God. God is permanent, eternal, infinite, and inseparable from his character. Just in case we can't see those values in our heart, Moses spelled them out for us in the book of Exodus in The Bible.

So wait a second, if I abide by these moral standards I have a free ticket to heaven? Absolutely, but is God first in your life? Do you love him with "heart, mind, soul and strength"? Have you made a God to suit yourself? Have you used his name in vain? Have you set aside a day for rest in God? Have you always honored your parents? Have you ever hated anyone, and therefore committed murder in your heart? Have you looked with lust and therefore committed adultery in your heart? Have you lied (including "fibs"), stolen (the value is irrelevant), or coveted other people's possessions? If you are honest you know you will be found guilty on Judgment Day. And this isn't a movie about robots who take over the world.

Sounds hard? The only man alive who could do it was Jesus - and he was God, so that doesn't count!

So what's our destiny then? An eternity in hell?

Yes. Not!! God loves us too much for that! He doesn't want that to happen, but he does require that heaven is perfect. God has made provision for your debt to the law to be paid in full, so you can be completely forgiven and enter heaven when you die.

When Jesus died on the cross, He was taking your punishment Himself. You broke God's Law, but Jesus Christ paid your fine. Three days later he rose from the grave, defeating death, proving he was God and proving that all he said was true.

To be forgiven of all your sin, God is commanding you to sincerely repent (to turn away from all the things you know are wrong) and to trust in his Son for the rest of your life. When you repent honestly and sincerely before God, acknowledging your sin and turning from it, and accepting Jesus Christ as your Saviour, God will forgive you and grant you everlasting life. It's a free gift! But in order for someone to give a gift, the receiver must take it.

Okay so eternal life aside, why am I here on earth?

One reason: To glorify and worship God, our creator! I think the decisions we make on this life determine our place in the next life. Look at everything around you, including the complexity of DNA. Is this an accident? Did we evolve to be so intelligent? How great is our God!

If you want to know more, get in touch with me!

Fear the Lord

2007-02-25T18:15:00.000+13:00

This note is the start of many small moral studies from my own life experience. If no one learns anything from it, at least I did.

We just had a flat meeting here. I had lied to my flatmate a while ago about the reason I didn't buy milk for the flat in time. I said that I hadn't been eating cereal for a while and so I hadn't had much of a chance to check the milk was running low. I thought it was the reason when I said it, but just after I said it I realized it was a lie. My other flatmate told the accusing one that I had in fact been eating cereal and that was a lie. I should have admitted to my flatmate that I lied straight away, but I chose not to (and sinned).

MY FLATMATE WAS FURIOUS when he/she got up this one morning because they had told me to get more milk and I said I would... but I didn't. Luckily for me when my flatmate fell into a fit of rage that day stomping loudly all around my room for a long time trying to get me out of bed, he/she was going away on work. So I didn't get up. I felt I deserved all that stomping and loud music.

At our flat meeting tonight the flatmate brought the incident up, and I just sat and listened. They were getting really defensive as they explained how I lied to them, as if they thought I would deny it. Then something that pleased me, in a way, came out:

"... and you lied, and you're a Christian, so you're going to HELL!" Wow, I was a little surprised at that. Obviously my flatmate is not a Christian (although the other one is Catholic so he/she instantly argued back and said "you can't say that..." etc). I just sat there and shook my head. I had never had anyone use my religeon openly against me before. The reason I didn't take offense to it, and the reason it pleased me was because I think I knew it pleased God. Plus, I'm positive of my salvation, and so I didn't question it at all.

You might think "Why would this kind of speech please God?". The reason is because my flatmate showed a fear of God. They had no right to Judge whether I go to heaven or hell, because only God has that right. God will judge my flatmate in the same way that he/she judged me today (see Mat 7:1).

Obviously there is some kind of fear/threat here because the fact that he/she brought Christianity into the argument in the first place shows that they know at least some part of it is powerful and real.

Mat 10:28 (NIV) [Jesus] "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

And to emphasise the point that it's God we should fear:

Isa 8:12-13 (NIV) "...Do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread."

Ps 76:4,7 (NIV) "You [O God] are resplendent with light... You alone are to be feared."

Now check out why this is exciting:

Ps 111:10 (NEB) "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and they who live by it grow in understanding..."

Prov 9:10 (NEB) "The first step to wisdom is the fear of the Lord, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

A definite career decision

2007-02-21T18:19:00.000+13:00

I've finally made a decision for my university exchange to the states. Although I more than likely could have gone, I've decided not to.

My neighbour helped me realise that I was planning to go for the wrong selfish reasons. Going to America meant I was pursuing the path of my own happiness - the computer programmer that would be living in a flash new house and who owns an awesome car. Those dreams are fading though because they would never keep me truly happy. They are being replaced by a more passionate God-driven vision I have. A burning desire to help others. There's nothing more exciting than to see what God is doing in other people's lives. Unless you've experienced that (say - a friend coming to know Christ), then you can't imagine how exciting it is. I want to do that full-time.

But I haven't abandoned computers completely. They have been my passion for over 10 years, and always will be. However, I just know that I'm made to do more. I'm made to save lives. I'm made to help people grow into amazingly awesome people. God wants to use me in these ways, so I'm going to let Him, and see what happens! Now I'm excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this year I'm going to be out on the university of waikato campus. I'm going to be helping new students move in to the Halls of Residence. I'll be helping students tune in to Jesus through the Student Life club here. I'll be sharing the gospel with people who want to know God and his infinite love more. And I honestly don't care what people think of me doing this. Including you mum!

I have other plans too, after a term of doing that I will be well trained to go to Fiji and help accelerate their campus ministry in easter!

Stress

2007-02-02T18:23:00.000+13:00

I'm sitting at home, just got back from work.

It feels like my head is actually going to explode, throbbing even after lying down and relaxing for a while. My eyes can't focus properly. My neck is like a tight knot, and my right shoulder has been spasming for at least a week. How the hell do people work on computers full time? It beats me, because I don't even do the same hours, and I've only been working for a month now - though I do work hard, usually without breaks. Plus having 6 kids screaming and fighting all the time around the office amplifies the stress factor for me by about 10x, especially when Debbie's kids get on her nerves too.

I've decided I'm going to stay in Uni for as long as I can, so I never have to work. I could imagine work being better in a relaxed company with other colleagues close to my own age. Maybe I'll start my own business so I don't have anyone looking over everything I do. Then I can set how a full time atmosphere should be! Just need some cash.. make that a lot.. and how do you get that? ..working... shit. Sometimes I really do hate life.